I have a pretty good memory when it comes to people and what they like, things they tell me about them self. It’s what made me really good at Sales. It’s what earns me comments such as “thoughtful”.
Many times people have said, “I can’t believe you remembered that!” with huge smiles on their face. People always remember how you made them feel.
I can’t teach you that part. That comes naturally.
But I can share with you some of my other personal rules and tricks.
These little hacks will help you be a better friend. Not that I have been the best of one lately, but I used to be a damn good friend.
Try these ideas:
- I use my outlook calendar a lot. [You can use outlook or whatever calendar system you use - your smart phone, handwritten...] Your birthday, your kid’s birthdays, your husband’s birthdays go into my calendar as a repeating event. I don’t quiz you on them – I just listen when you talk. If you mention you are doing something for their birthday, I’ll get the actual date out of you and add them to outlook. When I was on FB, I would notate your posts and record the dates from there as well. This includes your pet’s birthdays, your anniversaries and any other special dates you tell me.
- I send cards. Actual cards in the mail.
- To track ages or years, I use the location field in outlook to put the birth year or date you were married in that repeating calendar event.
- If you have a vacation planned, I put the dates in my calendar. I will text you “safe travels” & “have fun!” the day before your trip. I also do this so I don’t forget and invite you to do something when I am supposed to know you are out of town.
- If your kid is hurt or sick, I have been known to send something in the mail with stickers.
- If you had a bad day and you tell me about it, there’s a good chance you’ll get a card in the mail from me with a personalized note and a little gift.
- If you or anyone in your family is having surgery or has an important doctor’s appointment coming up – it’s in my calendar along with texts to follow up. Possibly a card as well.
- Short of being violently ill, I will not cancel plans with you. It doesn’t matter how many better offers I have gotten, I made plans with you first, and that is very important to me.
- I like to do something special for your birthday and it’s my treat.
- If I am at the store and I see something I know you would like, and it’s not expensive, I will buy it and give it to you sometime for no real reason at all.
- I do things like that for your kids, too.
- I like taking pictures. It’s cheap and easy to get them developed and give them to you as a memory of something we did.
- I take my hairdresser a coffee drink when I go to see her. While it’s a regular thing for me, it’s not for her and she enjoys the treat. It’s not hard and the coffee shop is right there. Then it’s more like we are friends having coffee and chatting while she is doing my hair.
- I like to treat for dinner or lunch, for no reason what so ever.
- If you need a ride to the airport, I will take you.
- If your car breaks down, call me. I will help.
- I used to be willing to babysit for you. I just can’t do that right now.
- If I read a book or watch a movie that I think you will like, I give you the book or make the suggestion.
- I keep notes in my contact files on outlook about things that you like that I may not always remember. Maybe it’s something obscure you don’t talk about often or something you just mentioned once. I will try and find a card, book, movie, gift, etc. related to that and give it to you.
- I don’t overdo any of these things (birthdays are the exception) to one person. That can get borderline creepy.